Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Houston, we have a blender
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
