Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
