oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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