First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
