I can tuck mytits in my pants
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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