my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
