I puked a lego.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
