He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
