you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
