sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
