I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
