yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
