I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
