if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize