Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
