Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize