I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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