They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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