'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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