It's Friday. Sex?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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