I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
