i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
