meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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