Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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