me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
