Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
