I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
