one two three fourrrrnication!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
