wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize