is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize