I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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