Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There's always time for handjobs
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
