she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
