is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
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I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
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And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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