haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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