If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Go after that dick
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize