i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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