AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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