I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
