god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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