Say something about gay babies.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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