Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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