He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so let's talk penis.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
