She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
