Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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