she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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