Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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