I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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