Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
