I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
