I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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