our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
