so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
