she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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