I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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