Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
