So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
